Privacy Policy

Mobile Admin Services website is owned by Mierda Chon Holdings, LLC.

We do not collect any of your data. Period. Ever.

Personal information we collect:

None.

Why do we process your data?

We don't.

Your rights:

If you are a European resident, you have the following rights related to your personal data:

  • The right to be informed.

  • The right of access.

  • The right to rectification.

  • The right to erasure.

  • The right to restrict processing.

  • The right to data portability.

  • The right to object.

  • Rights in relation to automated decision-making and profiling.

If you would like to exercise this right, please contact us through the contact information below.

No need to contact me because I do not have any of your data.

Links to other websites:

Our website may contain links to other websites that are not owned or controlled by us. Please be aware that we are not responsible for such other websites or third parties' privacy practices. We encourage you to be aware when you leave our website and read the privacy statements of each website that may collect personal information.

Information security:

We secure information you provide on computer servers in a controlled, secure environment, protected from unauthorized access, use, or disclosure. We keep reasonable administrative, technical, and physical safeguards to protect against unauthorized access, use, modification, and personal data disclosure in its control and custody. However, no data transmission over the Internet or wireless network can be guaranteed.

Legal disclosure:

I don't collect anything, so there would be nothing to subpoena.

Contact information:

If you would like to contact us to understand more about this Policy or wish to contact us concerning any matter relating to individual rights and your Personal Information, you may not. It isn't complicated.

Refund policy

You are entitled to cancel your appointment UP TO 24 hours prior to the scheduled appointment WITHOUT BEING PENALIZED.

In order to exercise your right of cancellation, you must inform me of your decision by means of a clear statement. This may include text messages, phone calls, and if more than 24 hours an email is also acceptable.

If a same-day appointment was scheduled and then cancelled, you will not be entitled to a refund.

I follow a "two-strikes-you're-out" policy. I understand that things happen, but if there is always something happening, then I will drop you as a client. My time is valuable and drama does not pay any utility bills.

This policy is straightforward, concise, and there should be no questions.

Terms and Conditions

Welcome to Mobile Admin Services!

These terms and conditions outline the rules and regulations for the use of Mobile Admin Services's Website, located at mobileadminservices.com.

By accessing this website, we assume you accept these terms and conditions. Do not continue to use Mobile Admin Services if you do not agree to take all the terms and conditions stated on this page.

Cookies:

The website DOES NOT use cookies.

License:

Unless otherwise stated, Mobile Admin Services and/or its licensors own the intellectual property rights for all material on Mobile Admin Services. All intellectual property rights are reserved. You may access this from Mobile Admin Services for your own personal use subjected to restrictions set in these terms and conditions.

You must not:

  • Copy or republish material from Mobile Admin Services

  • Sell, rent, or sub-license material from Mobile Admin Services

  • Reproduce, duplicate or copy material from Mobile Admin Services

  • Redistribute content from Mobile Admin Services

This Agreement shall begin on the date hereof.

Parts of this website offer users an opportunity to post and exchange opinions and information in certain areas of the website. Mobile Admin Services does not filter, edit, publish or review Comments before their presence on the website. Comments may or may not reflect the views and opinions of Mobile Admin Services, its agents, and/or affiliates. Comments reflect the views and opinions of the person who posts their views and opinions. To the extent permitted by applicable laws, Mobile Admin Services shall not be liable for the Comments or any liability, damages, or expenses caused and/or suffered as a result of any use of and/or posting of and/or appearance of the Comments on this website. If you feel like you need to sue someone for hurting your feelings then you're too much of a little bitch to read this adult content. Come back when you've grown up and aren't such a pussy anymore.

Mobile Admin Services reserves the right to monitor all Comments and remove any Comments that they don't like. Rules will not be uniformly applied.

You warrant and represent that:

  • You are entitled to post the Comments on our website and have all necessary licenses and consents to do so;

  • The Comments do not invade any intellectual property right, including without limitation copyright, patent, or trademark of any third party;

  • The Comments will hopefully contact some kind of ANY defamatory, libelous, offensive, indecent, or otherwise unlawful material, which is an invasion of privacy, otherwise you're just typing IN ALL CAPS LIKE YOU'RE SCREAMING AT SOMEONE BUT THERE ISN'T ANYONE THERE BECAUSE YOU'RE HOME ALONE WITH YOU COMPUTER. Put some pants on.

  • The Comments will not be used to solicit or promote business or custom or present commercial activities or unlawful activity. Indian give! Haha take-sies! They might be used to promote my business.

You hereby grant Mobile Admin Services an exclusive license to use, reproduce, edit and authorize others to use, reproduce and edit any of your Comments in any and all forms, formats, or media.

Hyperlinking to our Content:

The following organizations MAY NOT link to our Website without prior written approval:

  • ALL Government agencies;

  • Google (all other search engines are fine. Fuck Google though).

  • News organizations (unless they're the retarded far right winners).

  • Online directory distributors may link to our Website in the same manner as they hyperlink to the Websites of other listed businesses; and

  • System-wide Accredited Businesses except soliciting non-profit organizations, charity shopping malls, and charity fundraising groups, and ANY CULT OR CULT CALLING ITSELF BY ANY OTHER NAME WHICH IS STILL A CULT which may not hyperlink to our Web site.

  • Nazis. Fuck Nazis.

These organizations may link to our home page, to publications, or to other Website information so long as the link: (a) is not in any way deceptive; (b) does not falsely imply sponsorship, endorsement, or approval of the linking party and its products and/or services; and (c) fits within the context of the linking party's site.

We may consider and approve other link requests from the following types of organizations:

  • Commonly-known consumer and/or business information sources;

  • Dot.com community sites;

  • Associations or other groups representing charities;

  • Online directory distributors;

  • Internet portals;

  • Accounting, law, and consulting firms; and

  • Educational institutions and trade associations

We will approve link requests from these organizations if we decide that: (a) there is enough Pepsi in the fridge that another trip to Wally World is not necessary until tomorrow; (b) the link would not make us look unfavorably to ourselves or to our accredited businesses; (b) the organization does not have any negative records with us (let's be honest that's far and few); (c) the benefit to us from the visibility of the hyperlink compensates the absence of Mobile Admin Services; and (d) the link is in the context of general resource information.

These organizations may link to our home page so long as the link: (a) is not in any way deceptive; (b) does not falsely imply sponsorship, endorsement, or approval of the linking party and its products or services; and (c) fits within the context of the linking party's site which must never be a government or religious or cult website.

If you are one of the organizations listed in paragraph 2 above and are interested in linking to our website, you must inform us by sending an e-mail to Mobile Admin Services. Please include your name, your organization name, contact information as well as the URL of your site, a list of any URLs from which you intend to link to our Website, and a list of the URLs on our site to which you would like to link. Wait 2-3 weeks for a response.

Approved organizations may hyperlink to our Website as follows:

  • By use of our corporate name; or

  • By use of the uniform resource locator being linked to; or

  • Using any other description of our Website being linked to that makes sense within the context and format of content on the linking party's site.

No use of Mobile Admin Services's logo or other artwork will be allowed for linking absent a trademark license agreement.

Content Liability:

We shall not be held responsible for any content that appears on your Website. You agree to protect and defend us against all claims that are raised on your Website, but you don't have to get all clingy and machismo like you're really doing us a favor. We've made it this long talking shit. No link(s) should appear on any Website that may be interpreted as libelous, obscene, or criminal, or which infringes, otherwise violates, or advocates the infringement or other violation of, any third party rights, unless it's just so hilarious that it must be so.

Reservation of Rights:

I reserve the right to request that you do anything I please, including, but not limited to: remove all links or any particular link to our Website. You approve to immediately remove all links to our Website upon request. We also reserve the right to amend these terms and conditions and its linking policy at any time. By continuously linking to our Website, you agree to be bound to and follow these linking terms and conditions.

Removal of links from our website:

If you find any link on our Website that is offensive for any reason, you are free to contact and inform us at any moment. Be advised that the response will be along the lines of "FUCK OFF", so please be prepared with extra hateful come-backs assuming you already know my side of the conversation. This will both liven-up both of our days and give us a sort of 'pen-pal' love-hate relationship like they had before the internet when people still wrote letters. We will consider requests to remove links, but we are not obligated to or so or to respond to you directly.

I do not ensure that the information on this website is correct. I do not warrant its completeness or accuracy, nor do I promise to ensure that the website remains available or that the material on the website is kept up to date. I don't make any promises or guarantees other than I HOPE IT OFFENDS YOU.

Disclaimer:

To the maximum extent permitted by applicable law, we exclude all representations, warranties, and conditions relating to our website and the use of this website. Nothing in this disclaimer will:

  • Limit or exclude our or your liability for death or personal injury;

  • Limit or exclude our or your liability for fraud or fraudulent misrepresentation;

  • Limit any of our or your liabilities in any way that is not permitted under applicable law; or

  • Exclude any of our or your liabilities that may not be excluded under applicable law.

The limitations and prohibitions of liability set in this Section and elsewhere in this disclaimer: (a) are subject to the preceding paragraph; and (b) govern all liabilities arising under the disclaimer, including liabilities arising in contract, in tort, and for breach of statutory duty.

As long as the website and the information and services on the website are provided free of charge, we will not be liable for any loss or damage of any nature.